They did chest x-rays, EKGs, bloodwork, checked for blood clots, damage to his heart - the works. All the tests came back negative, though, so they're not sure what happened to him. The doctor didn't want to "diagnose" him with something just to give it a label, but he told us that if it happened again, we should go to Mike's regular doctor and arrange to have more tests done. I'm praying that this is an isolated incident, because driving up from work knowing that Mike was being taken to the hospital and worrying that something horrible was going to happen before I got there is not an experience I ever, ever want to repeat. I was so scared he was going to die. I know I've joked about this being the year of the health insurance, but C'MON.

The kids and their mom sent me these lovely flowers yesterday to cheer me up on my first day back at work. When the florist rang the doorbell, the dogs went flying down to the door, barking madly to let me know that SOMEONE WAS THERE, and, as usual, I shut them in the landry room so I could answer the door without them dancing around my ankles, trying to escape. After signing for the flowers, I opened the door to let them out of the laundry room. Jordan came bolting out like his tail was on fire, in a hurry to get back to the front door to see who had been there. Maddy came cautiously creeping around the door like she was afraid of it. Max, well, Max was behind the door looking at me through the crack, and she didn't seem to realize that she could back up and go around the door. After a few minutes of calling her with no result other than more tail wagging, I gave up and went into the laundry room to show her that she could get out on her own.

I was pretty nervous pre-surgery, but everyone was really nice. The nurse who was doing most of my check-in stuff was a TALKER, holy shit. The first time she came in while Mike was back with me, he did not breathe until she left the room. There was this warm air machine they hooked my gown up to so I'd stay warm till it was time for them to wheel me back for the slicing. The anesthesiologist was way more awesome than the colonoscopy one, although not quite as awesome as the exploratory surgery one (that one won me over for good with his little tiny pre-IV numbing needle).

Post surgery was, eh. I was pretty sore and VERY itchy. My body does not like meds, apparently. I stayed in Recovery for a little bit, then they wheeled me up to my hospital room, which was arguably the most painful part of the whole experience. It felt they merrily pushed my bed over every possible bump, and when I pointed out (nicely at first, then in tears) that it hurt like mad, their only solution was to tell me to put an alcohol wipe right by my nose and tell me to breath deep over the bumps. What the hell is an alcohol wipe supposed to do? Reek the pain away? It was better once I was settled into my room and could go to sleep. The pain medicine button was a big help, too. Mike's mom sent me a lovely flower arrangement with a balloon and a teddy bear, and my mom stopped by after work to check in and bring Mike some Real Food since he'd been there all day with only bagels to subsist on.

The highlights of my overnight hospital stay: spilling my ice water on myself twice in one night, pressing the call button for the nurse when I was trying to turn on the light, and having to have help to turn off the tv. I'm pretty sure the nurse who on duty for all of that was beyond happy to go home at the end of her shift.

It was kind of iffy as to whether or not I'd get to go home on Wednesday as planned, because I had a slight fever and felt like death. In the end, the doctor decided to go ahead and send me home, which turned out to be the best solution. Once I got home, got settled into bed with a glass of ice water, and snuggled with my puppies for a bit, I started feeling better. I think part of the problem was the pain meds they switched me to after taking away the pain med button. My tummy gets really, really upset on this stuff, and I get a killer headache, which both combine to make me miserable.

Bill and Steph came over for a quick visit on Thursday and brought me some deelishus get-well-soon chocolate-dipped strawberries, which are possibly the best sick food evar.

Now that I've been home for a couple of days, I'm getting better at navigating around. Most of the time I don't even need help sitting up, although there are times when it's a bit more painful than I'd like. I'm already tired of being an invalid, though. I'm ready to do more around the house, or at least pick up my damn puppies. It's not like they're Rottweilers, you know.

My friend Jessica is a fantastic tattoo artist. For a couple of months now she and I were trying to schedule a time for her to put runes on my right wrist, and she was able to fit me in yesterday so I could get my runes before my surgery.

The first one (Uruz) means: Physical strength and speed, untamed potential. A time of great energy and health. Freedom, energy, action, courage, strength, tenacity, understanding, wisdom. The shaping of power and pattern, formulation of the self.

The second one (Ansuz) means: A revealing message or insight, communication. Signals, inspiration, enthusiasm, speech, true vision, power of words and naming. Blessings, the taking of advice. Good health, harmony, truth, wisdom.

The third one (Eihwaz) means: Strength, reliability, dependability, trustworthiness. Enlightenment, endurance. Defense, protection. The driving force to acquire, providing motivation and a sense of purpose. Indicates that you have set your sights on a reasonable target and can achieve your goals.

The fourth one (Kenaz) means: Vision, revelation, knowledge, creativity, inspiration, technical ability. Vital fire of life, harnessed power, fire of transformation and regeneration. Power to create your own reality, the power of light. Open to new strength, energy, and power now.

The fifth one (Ehwaz) means: Movement and change for the better. Gradual development and steady progress are indicated. Harmony, teamwork, trust, loyalty. An ideal marriage or partnership. Confirmation beyond doubt the meanings of the runes around it.

The last one (Dagaz) means: Breakthrough, awakening, awareness. Daylight clarity as opposed to nighttime uncertainty. A time to plan or embark upon an enterprise. The power of change directed by your own will, transformation. Hope/happiness, the ideal. Security and certainty. Growth and release. Balance point, the place where opposites meet.

I love this tatoo so much. I can't see any of my other ones without a mirror and some contortion, but this one I can just glance down at. <3

* I've apparently quit taking my Paxil cold turkey, by way of forgetting to refill my damn prescription for over a week and not realizing it till I was trying to figure out why I've been feeling so weird recently. It feels like I'm on the hungover side of a two-day binge, and, oh, does it suck. Since my original plan was to quit the Paxil a few months after the sugery anyway, I decided, what the hell? No point in going through this twice, when I can just ride it out now and just start my plan (to take better care of myself and see how I do without it now that I don't have the birth control altering my biochemistry) a little early. The side effects this time around are HORRIBLE (I am constantly queasy, my eyes can't stay focused for longer than 30 seconds at a whack, and MY GOD THE DISORIENTATION), but I'd rather only do this once, so, fine, whatever.

* I thought I had all the pre-op stuff taken care of on Monday, but I got a call yesterday from the lab saying that they didn't draw enough blood to do a pregnancy test in addition to the other stuff they did, so they needed me to come back in for that. No apologies for the mix-up and/or the inconvenience, just "Hey, you need to stop by so we can get more blood." I did, and now I have a bruise on each arm. They promised that was all the blood they needed from me, though, so I should still be okay to get my IV in my left arm (better veins = less poking with needles = much, much happier Kate).

* Thanks to the Paxil de-tox, I haven't been sleeping well all week. I was stumbling along, tired but functioning fairly well, until last night. Mike took a four hour nap after we got home, which resulted in him waking back up around 9 and not coming to bed until close to 11. Then he started talking about things that were way more emotionally taxing than I had the resources for that late, and we didn't go to sleep until a few minutes before midnight. I am EXHAUSTED today, is what I'm saying. And grouchy, too. Oh, am I grouchy. I don't do well with not enough sleep.

* I dreamed that one of my puppies died - was hit by a car while I was watching - and I KNOW it's just a dream, but the images and emotions from the dream are still with me. I gave the puppies extra loves this morning before I left.

* I think I'm getting a touch of anxiety about Tuesday 'cause, in addition to the Paxil-related stuff mentioned above, I've been having chest pains since Wednesday. I've also been itchier than if I'd been rolled around in dusty ice cubes, but I don't know if that's due to anxiety or if my allergies are flaring up for some reason and manifesting that way. Really, it doesn't matter what's causing the itchies - I itch ALL THE TIME, and most of the time, it's my boobs that are the itchiest, which is uncomfortable in public, to say the least.

I need a nap.

I feel we must have some sort of misunderstanding. I'm not near retirement. I'm not near 50. Hell, I won't even be 30 for another couple of years, and yet you keep sending me literature. Let me repeat: I am not even CLOSE to my golden years, so stop with the pamphlets, please.

Thanks,
Kate

Hearing any song from that list evokes the same response from me that most AC/DC songs do - namely, excited squeaking and clapping of hands as I reach to turn up the volume. When Mike asks what I want to listen to in the truck, the answer is almost always the same: Mötley Crüe! I can't wait till their next concert in our area (hopefully it is on a non-kid weekend. I'd love to actually meet Nikki Sixx this time.

I initially dismissed Webkinz as something just for kids, a simple site with adoptable animals to keep kids occupied, but the people who came up with the idea put a lot more thought and detail into than I realized.