health
August 16, 2008
sliced and diced
So, I survived the surgery, and the only pain I'm having now appears to be residual from said surgery. If I am not counting my chicks before they're hatched, this could very well mean the surgery was a success!
I was pretty nervous pre-surgery, but everyone was really nice. The nurse who was doing most of my check-in stuff was a TALKER, holy shit. The first time she came in while Mike was back with me, he did not breathe until she left the room. There was this warm air machine they hooked my gown up to so I'd stay warm till it was time for them to wheel me back for the slicing. The anesthesiologist was way more awesome than the colonoscopy one, although not quite as awesome as the exploratory surgery one (that one won me over for good with his little tiny pre-IV numbing needle).
Post surgery was, eh. I was pretty sore and VERY itchy. My body does not like meds, apparently. I stayed in Recovery for a little bit, then they wheeled me up to my hospital room, which was arguably the most painful part of the whole experience. It felt they merrily pushed my bed over every possible bump, and when I pointed out (nicely at first, then in tears) that it hurt like mad, their only solution was to tell me to put an alcohol wipe right by my nose and tell me to breath deep over the bumps. What the hell is an alcohol wipe supposed to do? Reek the pain away? It was better once I was settled into my room and could go to sleep. The pain medicine button was a big help, too. Mike's mom sent me a lovely flower arrangement with a balloon and a teddy bear, and my mom stopped by after work to check in and bring Mike some Real Food since he'd been there all day with only bagels to subsist on.
The highlights of my overnight hospital stay: spilling my ice water on myself twice in one night, pressing the call button for the nurse when I was trying to turn on the light, and having to have help to turn off the tv. I'm pretty sure the nurse who on duty for all of that was beyond happy to go home at the end of her shift.
It was kind of iffy as to whether or not I'd get to go home on Wednesday as planned, because I had a slight fever and felt like death. In the end, the doctor decided to go ahead and send me home, which turned out to be the best solution. Once I got home, got settled into bed with a glass of ice water, and snuggled with my puppies for a bit, I started feeling better. I think part of the problem was the pain meds they switched me to after taking away the pain med button. My tummy gets really, really upset on this stuff, and I get a killer headache, which both combine to make me miserable.
Bill and Steph came over for a quick visit on Thursday and brought me some deelishus get-well-soon chocolate-dipped strawberries, which are possibly the best sick food evar.
Now that I've been home for a couple of days, I'm getting better at navigating around. Most of the time I don't even need help sitting up, although there are times when it's a bit more painful than I'd like. I'm already tired of being an invalid, though. I'm ready to do more around the house, or at least pick up my damn puppies. It's not like they're Rottweilers, you know.
Posted by oracle at 3:36 PM | Comments (1)
August 8, 2008
iz not weekend yet
:sigh: I'm ready for this week to be over, please.
* I've apparently quit taking my Paxil cold turkey, by way of forgetting to refill my damn prescription for over a week and not realizing it till I was trying to figure out why I've been feeling so weird recently. It feels like I'm on the hungover side of a two-day binge, and, oh, does it suck. Since my original plan was to quit the Paxil a few months after the sugery anyway, I decided, what the hell? No point in going through this twice, when I can just ride it out now and just start my plan (to take better care of myself and see how I do without it now that I don't have the birth control altering my biochemistry) a little early. The side effects this time around are HORRIBLE (I am constantly queasy, my eyes can't stay focused for longer than 30 seconds at a whack, and MY GOD THE DISORIENTATION), but I'd rather only do this once, so, fine, whatever.
* I thought I had all the pre-op stuff taken care of on Monday, but I got a call yesterday from the lab saying that they didn't draw enough blood to do a pregnancy test in addition to the other stuff they did, so they needed me to come back in for that. No apologies for the mix-up and/or the inconvenience, just "Hey, you need to stop by so we can get more blood." I did, and now I have a bruise on each arm. They promised that was all the blood they needed from me, though, so I should still be okay to get my IV in my left arm (better veins = less poking with needles = much, much happier Kate).
* Thanks to the Paxil de-tox, I haven't been sleeping well all week. I was stumbling along, tired but functioning fairly well, until last night. Mike took a four hour nap after we got home, which resulted in him waking back up around 9 and not coming to bed until close to 11. Then he started talking about things that were way more emotionally taxing than I had the resources for that late, and we didn't go to sleep until a few minutes before midnight. I am EXHAUSTED today, is what I'm saying. And grouchy, too. Oh, am I grouchy. I don't do well with not enough sleep.
* I dreamed that one of my puppies died - was hit by a car while I was watching - and I KNOW it's just a dream, but the images and emotions from the dream are still with me. I gave the puppies extra loves this morning before I left.
* I think I'm getting a touch of anxiety about Tuesday 'cause, in addition to the Paxil-related stuff mentioned above, I've been having chest pains since Wednesday. I've also been itchier than if I'd been rolled around in dusty ice cubes, but I don't know if that's due to anxiety or if my allergies are flaring up for some reason and manifesting that way. Really, it doesn't matter what's causing the itchies - I itch ALL THE TIME, and most of the time, it's my boobs that are the itchiest, which is uncomfortable in public, to say the least.
I need a nap.
Posted by oracle at 8:56 AM | Comments (0)
August 4, 2008
finally, a date!
I talked to the nurse today, and my surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday. I'm going in this afternoon to fill out pre-op paperwork and stuff. In just a little over a week, I'll be recovering and hopefully on my way to finally being pain-free.
Posted by oracle at 12:42 PM | Comments (0)
July 31, 2008
organ donor
I had an appointment with my doctor this afternoon. I'm going to have a laproscopic hysterectomy sometime in the next couple of weeks. Since it's just my uterus that is the problem, that's all she's going to take out. Earlier in the week my understanding was that I'd have to have it removed abdominally, which had me freaking right the fuck out, so talking to the doctor today and finding out I don't have to have my tummy sliced open was a HUGE relief. I'm still nervous about the surgery, just because I've never had anything removed before, but at least I have an idea of what to expect recovery-wise since I had the exploratory surgery last month. They have to schedule with another doctor and the operating room at the hospital, so it might be Monday before I know what day the surgery is schedule for. It's easier to wait now that I know what's going to happen, though.
Posted by oracle at 8:51 PM | Comments (1)
June 9, 2008
I didn't expect them to glue my belly button shut
Last week's surgery was a much better experience than I ever could have imagined. All of the staff was nice and considerate and courteous, the anesthesiologist gave me a shot with a teeny tiny needle to numb up my arm before he put in the iv so I didn't have any pain from that AT ALL, the nurses were fantastic about making sure I was comfortable - keeping me supplied with warm blankets, putting gauze between the IV line and my arm so the cool liquid going through the tubes didn't give me hives, etc. - and they let me read right up until they were wheeling me back to the operating room. When I woke up in recovery they were great about making sure I was comfortable there too, giving me a blanket that hooked up to some heater which kept me warm and cozy while I was waking up, giving me ice to suck on to help my cough, and constantly checking on my pain level. They were appalled to hear that I've been living with a daily pain level between 5 and 8 for the past three months and did their best to keep me as pain-free as possible.
The recovery has been better than I expected also, although I didn't realize quite how much it was going to hurt for the first few days. Even now, close to a week after the procedure, I still get worn out very easily, and lifting anything heavier than my pups is a no-go. My doctor was fantastic about working with me to find a prescription for pain meds that didn't knock me out, so I've got a prescription now that helps with the pain but still allows me to function enough to take them at work if I need to. I have two incisions - one in my belly button and one that appears to be about 1 to 1.5 inches long just above my hip - both of which were closed up with Dermabond, so it feels like my belly button has been glued shut.
Posted by oracle at 8:25 AM | Comments (1)
May 28, 2008
now with more surgery!
In one week I'm having laproscopic exploratory surgery to check for endometriosis, adhesions, scarring, etc. It's an outpatient procedure, but I'm more than a little nervous because I'm not sure what to expect for the recovery. The doctor said one to two weeks is what it usually takes people; I'm hoping I'm on the shorter end of that spectrum. My only previous surgery experiences involve wisdom teeth and the removal of two cysts, so it's hard for me to have a feel for how quickly I'll be able to start doing normal stuff (work, picking up kids, taking Mike to and from his vanpool, etc.). I'm sure I'm just over-thinking this, as I tend to do with new procedures, and aferwards I'll look back and think how silly I was to put this much thought into it. For now, though, I'm making a list (OF COURSE) of everything I want to have done by this time next week to make things easier for me as I'm recuperating:
pick up my Lego Indiana Jones game to help keep me entertained once I'm home from the surgery,
pre-make a couple of meals to keep in the freezer JUST IN CASE,
pick up more dog food and treats so I don't have to worry about lugging around a heavy bag while they've just stitched my belly button back together,
wash every piece of dirty laundry in the house so I won't have to worry about it for a few days at least,
repeat that process for the dishes,
vacuum to keep the dust and puppy hairs from mobilizing and taking control of the house while I'm bed-ridden,
lay in a hefty supply of reading material and bottled water upstairs so I won't have to get out of bed for anything except bathroom breaks, and
make sure every area of the house that might possibly be seen by people who are not me or Mike is tidied up because GOD FORBID MY MOM OR SISTER SEE MY HOUSE A MESS.
Posted by oracle at 6:49 AM | Comments (2)
April 30, 2008
I'm fucking tired of needles that don't involve ink
To date I have had several dr. appointments and tests during the process of figuring out what, exactly, is going on. That list looks something like this:
abdominal CT scan
abdominal sonogram
upper GI w/small bowel follow-through
abdominal CT scan w/thin cuts across the pancreas
endoscopy
pelvic exam
pelvic sonogram
colonoscopy
two ER visits
four rounds of bloodwork
seven dr. appointments
twelve prescriptions
My endoscopy came back showing nothing that would cause this, the head of my pancreas is slightly enlarged but that's not the problem, my colonscopy came back looking fine, all of my sonograms have been normal, the upper GI showed that stuff is moving through my system without any noticeable obstructions, and there's nothing in my bloodwork that gives the doctors an idea of what's going on.
I do not have celiac, I don't have gastritis, there is nothing structurally wrong with my gallbladder, I don't have gallstones or tumors or an inflamed bowel, and I don't have a lot of patience left anymore. Today's colonoscopy was the proverbial last straw. I didn't mind the prep too much, but getting the procedure started was what did me in. It hurt like a motherfucker when they put the first IV in, but when the anesthesiologist started to put the sedative in it, it felt like they were tearing out a strip of my arm. As it turned out, the nurse hadn't put the IV in a vein, so they had to put in another one. They started off putting it in one of the veins on my right hand, but apparently there was something wrong with that one too, so they then had to put it in another of the veins on that hand. That was when I hit my limit and started tearing up. I'm ready for them to take out my appendix, gallbladder, and uterus, just in case any of those three are the cause of my pain. If I'm still feeling bad after that, we'll start looking at which other organs I can live without.
Posted by oracle at 7:14 PM | Comments (0)
April 1, 2008
a glimpse into my last few weeks
The last few weeks haven't been my best ever.
I've been to the ER:
Had a CT scan and a handful of other tests (+ bloodwork out the wazoo):
Had a gajillion appointments at which I was given more prescriptions than I care to think about - none of which worked, except the pain meds:
Had to collect poo samples for analysis (ick):
And I still don't know what's going on or why I'm having such horrible pains.
Posted by oracle at 9:31 PM | Comments (2)
March 24, 2008
a first in my medical history
I had blood drawn today, and, for a change, when the nurse told me I would barely feel a thing, she was right. Normally I detest having blood drawn, but this time really wasn't bad at all. I didn't get light-headed, I didn't throw up, and I didn't pass out. I'm going to request that nurse every time I need to have blood drawn at that office from now on.
Posted by oracle at 8:02 PM | Comments (0)
March 12, 2008
I may end up liking vegetables after all
One of the advantages of Weight Watchers is that it's making me more adventurous food-wise. I have a spaghetti squash that I'm going to be cooking either tonight or tomorrow, and I'm making a eggplant lasagna dish on Friday, both things I probably wouldn't be trying if I weren't counting points and trying to make the most out of my food choices.
Posted by oracle at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)
March 11, 2008
what would happen if I drank a Coke?
Healthbolt's "What Happens To Your Body If You Drink A Coke Right Now?" article was a very interesting read, especially in light of my recent decision to quit soda (which is proving to be much harder than I thought, by the way). I knew Coke had a lot of sugar, but 10 teaspoons? Yikes.
Posted by oracle at 2:36 PM | Comments (0)
March 10, 2008
I have enough prescriptions of my own
"We know we are being exposed to other people's drugs through our drinking water, and that can't be good," says Dr. David Carpenter, who directs the Institute for Health and the Environment of the State University of New York at Albany.
Holy hell. What are things coming to when even WATER isn't necessarily safe for us?
Posted by oracle at 10:05 AM | Comments (0)
in which our heroine stops eating everything that isn't nailed down
I started Weight Watchers this weekend, and I am extremely excited about it. I love the idea of having more structure to what I eat during the day, I am very goal-oriented (in that I feel fantastic when I achieve a goal, not that I pursue them relentlessly, sadly), and I like things that don't require a ton of thought right off the bat. This program works with all of those, and the fact that I can eat anything I want is a bonus. Granted, if I snarf down two pieces of pizza for breakfast that just about does me in points-wise for the day, so I will have to practice some moderation, but overall it seems like it's a good fit for me. I'm nervous about telling people, though, because, like the parenting class I took last summer, I feel like this is something I will be judged for, and I HATE that. Why should someone look down on me for trying to make myself better? And then I get angry for worrying about what people will think because it is my life. But acknowledging that doesn't make me less hesitant, in fact, I was even reluctant to tell Mike about it! I did tell him, and my mom and sister, too, but that felt horribly awkward, like when I told them I was seeing a counselor. Man, it is so hard for me to admit I'm not perfect.
The one thing I do not like about WW so far is the group aspect. I don't enjoy going to meetings for anything, and I don't need or want a bunch of strangers to give me support or celebrate my progress; I just want to get my materials and get started, thank you, good-bye. This isn't about losing weight - although I was horrified to see the scale stop at 146 on Saturday - it's about being healthier. I have a hard time making good choices when left to my own devices, and this is a good way to motivate me to make better ones.
Posted by oracle at 8:11 AM | Comments (2)
March 1, 2008
off the sauce
Or soda, as it were. Karinne and I are quitting teh Coke, a feat that will test my resolve at work and when we go out to eat. I don't drink much soda at home, but when I'm in a restaurant I like to have a Coke (no ice) with my meal, and when I'm at work I've been known to indulge in a moon pie and a can of Coke for breakfast. I'm planning to bypass the temptation by resolving to drink water (with lots of ice) at restaurants and to find another solution to get me through at work.
Posted by oracle at 9:59 AM | Comments (0)
January 27, 2008
PSA #40
If the past two weeks have been spent grumbling about itchy ears and eyes plus other random itchy spots, it's time to go see your goddamn allergist already.
Posted by oracle at 1:52 PM | Comments (0)
January 18, 2008
me vs. the dust mites
Since we just bought the new bed, Mike and I decided that now was the time to finally get the special covers for the mattress, box spring, and pillows, too. The box with all the covers was waiting for me when I got home Tuesday, so one of my projects this weekend is going to be washing all the covers and outfitting the bed appropriately. I have to confess, I feel a little silly doing all this, like I'm going overboard with all the dust mite stuff, although I guess I'd rather go a little overboard and feel better than not do enough and still feel crappy.
Posted by oracle at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)
January 10, 2008
I am weary
I woke up clenching my teeth again this morning, so it comes as no surprise that I've been having problems with my jaw all day. I left work late, and since I've been home I've done three loads of laundry, gotten things ready for tomorrow, cleaned up the kitchen, made a pot of chili, and loaded the dishwasher. I'm ready to take my pain pill and go to bed.
Posted by oracle at 7:50 PM | Comments (0)
January 9, 2008
PSA #38
If you know the forecast for your day is going to hold jaw problems because you woke up with your teeth clenched, for pity's sake, bring some Advil to work with you.
Posted by oracle at 12:19 PM | Comments (0)
January 4, 2008
and that's a wrap
My physical therapy appointment on Wednesday was my last. I'm taking a muscle relaxer every night before bed to help me keep the TMJ problems under control, and my physical therapist said she's taught me every stretch and exercise their practice uses to help people with TMJ. Since I now have all the tools to manage the TMJ pain myself, there's really nothing more they can do for me there. I was actually a little sad that it was my last appointment - Rachel, my physical therapist, is extremely nice, and so are the aides there. I had worked with one of them, Mallory, for the majority of my sessions, and I'm a bit sad that I won't be seeing them again. On the other hand, I'm thrilled that I've got a handle on my TMJ stuff and don't need anymore physical therapy.
Posted by oracle at 7:31 PM | Comments (0)
January 2, 2008
chagrin
On Sunday I went for a walk around our neighborhood, but Monday morning I decided to go to the gym instead. I scanned my member card, just like always, but instead of hearing the usual "welcome" message, I was startled to hear "check status." I looked at the receptionist and asked her if everything was okay with my account, and she said that everything was fine, that message was just to let them know it had been 97 days since the last time I was there. 97 days? I knew it had been a while, but I wouldn't have guessed it had been THAT long. Now that I know the computer is going to guilt me if I'm absent too long, I'll add that to my motivations to work out more regularly.
Posted by oracle at 8:26 PM | Comments (0)
December 4, 2007
progress in centimeters
So, I guess my stretches and exercises have been helping. When I started physical therapy for my TMJ problems I was only able to open my mouth 35cm wide, but my therapist measured at yesterday's appointment, and now I'm able to open up 45cm.
Posted by oracle at 2:26 PM | Comments (0)
November 16, 2007
I'm blaming it all on TMJ
Well, most of it, anyways. Seriously, I think that over half (probably 75%) of the health problems I've had this year have been TMJ-related. As I've worked with my physical therapist, I've been learning to differentiate the TMJ-related problems from the other ones, and now I can tell that the pain in my ears is not an ear infection - it's because my jaw muscles are too tight. The headaches I used to get so frequently? I don't get them as often now that I'm doing the stretches and exercises my physical therapist showed me. I'm still getting migraines, but it's easier to tell those from regular headaches now, so I know when to take my Relpax and when to take something else. While I'm not completely cured, I am more aware, and that's helping more than I thought it would.
Posted by oracle at 9:58 PM | Comments (0)
November 1, 2007
better living through modern chemistry
I am back on the Paxil again. It's taken me a while to decide whether or not I want to write about it on here. There are some things I prefer not to share, which is why I didn't write about either of the times I was on it before, but this time feels a little different. I'm not happy about going back on it because I feel like I wouldn't need it if I was taking better care of myself (eating better, going to the gym regularly again, getting more sleep, managing stress better, etc.), but I was at a point where I felt like everything was falling down around me and I couldn't take a breath to get myself together, much less make effective changes so I could get in a routine that was better for me. At this point I don't know if this is just situational depression, or if I'm one of those people that just needs some extra help chemically. I have a pretty strong family history of depression, so that's not a possibility to be dismissed lightly either. I'm not sure I belong in that category, though, and until I am certain I do, I'm treating this course of anti-depressants as a temporary plan - a stepping stone to get me to a place where I'm better able to take care of myself so I don't need help in the form of a prescription. And if I never get to that point, if I find out that I do much better with the medicine no matter how well I'm taking care of myself, well, I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.
Posted by oracle at 7:53 PM | Comments (0)
October 29, 2007
physical therapy should not involve a finger in my mouth
And yet it does. Who knew? I also did not know that, in addition to being used to see shit inside your body, ultrasounds are also used for therapeutical purposes as well. I started physical therapy last week for my TMJ problems, and it is not quite what I expected. The massage part is great until my therapist amps up the pressure, then it moves from feeling good to "holyfuckingshit, I will cry if this does not stop NOW!" After what feels like an eternity of fighting off tears, the pressure starts loosening up whatever muscle is being targeted, and I start feeling some relief. Then she puts a finger in my mouth to do some fishhook move that hurts even worse, but also feels good after the pain recedes. After all the poking and prodding and pain is over, an aide comes in to start using the ultrasound machine on my jaw and neck, and, let me tell you, THAT is an uncomfortable feeling. Not the ultrasound itself, but the cool anti-inflammatory cream + the cold cold ultrasound gel is ick x 1000. As the initial burst of cold wears off, the ultrasound wand starts to heat up and feel good, which usually happens right before it's time to switch sides. Once we've gotten all that out of the way, we move on to the exercises, which mainly consist of stretches and jaw movements to expand my range of motion. So far the most uncomfortable one is the stretch where I have to open my mouth, put the knuckles of my middle and index fingers between my teeth, and hold that for thirty seconds. It starts feeling uncomfortable after five seconds; after ten it starts hurting. Most people without TMJ problems can do that comfortably with three fingers/knuckles, but I can't even imagine how that would feel. I'm doing this twice a week for the next few weeks, and then we'll re-evaluate and see how I'm doing at that point.
Posted by oracle at 7:26 PM | Comments (0)
October 3, 2007
beep beep beep
I had my appointment with the ENT doctor ysterday. I had my first-ever hearing test and passed with flying colors, so at least my hearing is okay. I also had a tympanogram to check the pressure in my ears. The results were normal, which means there's no fluid in my ears and no blockage that will lead to fluid buildup. The doctor checked my throat, ears, and nose and determined that everything looks fine, although he did find red dachshund hairs in both of my ears (thank you, Maddy and/or Max), which he removed with a microscope and some long tweezers - not a painful experience, but definitely an uncomfortable one. He thinks my problems are primarily due to TMJ problems, so he's referring me for physical therapy to work on that.
Posted by oracle at 7:54 AM | Comments (0)
September 1, 2007
more on the dead heroine front
My body has decided to systematically shut down* (or at least misfire) over the past few days. In addition to my sinusy woes, my stomach is killing me too. All because I ate a little mac 'n cheese (homemade, otherwise the tummy pains would be understandable) with some ham. I am SUCH a joy to live with.
Posted by oracle at 11:31 PM | Comments (2)
August 31, 2007
in which our heroine is dying
Or possibly just miserable. Remember how I told you I went to see my allergist, and it just so happened that I had a long-term sinus infection? Well, it's still around, making me miserable (see the entry title for confirmation), and since she said to come back and see her if it didn't get any better, that's just what I did. (Side note: I LOVE my allergist. With the exception of the long-ass wait to initially see her, every time I've called they've been able to fit me into the schedule either that day or the next. This impresses me. Greatly.) What I thought would be short visit turned into something a bit more involved than that, something resulted in a breathing test (which was a piece of cake compared to what I'd been imagining it would be) and a trip to a nearby imaging center to get a CAT scan of my sinuses (I had to take out my earrings and eyebrow ring for the test, but while I was in the car on the way home I realized that I'd forgotten to take out my cartilage earring and proceeded to fret about that for the next 5 - 7 minutes). They were super-speedy with my results (another reason to love my allergist? She wanted to get the results ASAP so she could figure out a treatment for me today so I wouldn't be miserable [and untreated] over the holiday weekend. <3), but when the nurse called to find out which pharmacy I'd like my prescription called into, I stupidly forgot to ask about my results. I presume it's still a sinus infection, because why else would I be taking another round of the super-duper antibiotic (that can't be THAT super since it didn't kill my sinus problems the first time around)? I just hope it works this time around because my sinus headaches are painful to the point that they're consistantly making me queasy (not just a little "erp, I don't feel too swell," oh ho no, we're talking full-blown "holy shit, I wonder if I could make it to the side of the road and throw up") and my ears are so puffy and achy I feel like they should be bleeding (or oozing something equally painful). N says that my head feels this way because I know too much and I should've stopped packing facts into my head before things got to this point. It must be my brain that's dripping out my ears.
Note: Mike was very sweet and patient with me this afternoon, and while I was getting my CAT scan done, he was in Borders picking up surprises (Jimmy Norton's "Happy Endings" and Joy Bauer's "Natural Food Cures") for me to help brighten my day.
Posted by oracle at 11:16 PM | Comments (0)
August 2, 2007
Dear Migraines,
I think it is time for us to part ways. As much as you've been trying to hold on to me (especially this past week), we're growing apart. Our needs are different now. I want to take a different path in life, and, let's face it, you're holding me back. I wish I could say it's been good, but we both know it hasn't. I'm tired and worn out, and it's time to move on.
Sincerely,
Kate
Posted by oracle at 3:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 28, 2007
yes, it's another progress report
I've only missed one day at the gym in the past three weeks. (OKAY. It's only been 20 days. I believe in rounding up.) Earlier this week I started using the Whitestrips while I worked out, and as of Friday, I stopped listening to my workout mix and started listening to Tony Robbins. This morning I put cuticle/nail oil on before I left for the gym, so I'm working on having a healthy heart, a more toned ass, whiter teeth, a better mindset and life, and nicer cuticles and nails, all at the same time.
Posted by oracle at 10:40 PM | Comments (0)
July 25, 2007
metal under tension, begging you to touch and go
I've gone to the gym every day except one (last Sunday) for the past 17 days. (Yes, I'm counting. Don't even try to tell me that surprises you.) Working out is slowly making itself a part of my daily life, my routine, and I'm glad. My goal is to get in better shape and start taking better care of myself, and I'm doing this one small tweak at a time. The first was going to the gym, and the next is using Crest Whitestrips. My teeth aren't horribly yellow, but neither are they the gleaming white of commercials. Realistically I don't want or expect them to look like that, but I do want them to look a little less dingy, thus the Whitestrips. Since today was the first day I used them, I don't have much by way of progress to report yet. I plan to take pictures either today or tomorrow though, so I'll have "before" and "after" pics to refer to. I also need to weigh myself and take my measurements so I'll some sort of baseline to measure my working out against.
I'm pretty sure I've written about it here before, but I'll say it again - my goal isn't to lose weight, per se, because I don't care how much I weigh, as long as I'm healthy and fit. If I muscle up to 150+ after I add weight training back in, okay. I won't lie and tell you that the idea of weighing in at 150 THRILLS me, but if it's 150 lbs of muscle instead of 150 lbs of flab, I can handle that. It helps to see what I'm capable of too: being able to leg press over 240 lbs is very encouraging, if not outright empowering. My goal is to be happy, fit/in shape, and healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Posted by oracle at 8:11 AM | Comments (0)
July 11, 2007
a room with a moose
I was having headaches almost daily for the past couple of weeks, including frequent migraines. After reading a couple migraine books, I read about an elimination diet that is supposed to help determine which foods trigger migraines; the premise is that for 30 days, you only eat certain foods - ones that don't seem to be common migraine triggers (it's a very short list, trust me) - and after that, you start adding other foods back into your diet, introducing one every other day. I started doing this over the weekend, and this morning I noticed that I've been feeling pretty good since then. I've gotten in some cardio every morning so far this week, I've been sticking to the "can eat" list pretty closely (except for some small couscous confusion Saturday and Sunday - I thought regular couscous was okay, but noooo, it has to be WHOLE WHEAT couscous. Pfft.), and, sure, it could be a placebo effect, but I think I'm feeling better because of the food changes and exercise.
Posted by oracle at 7:18 AM | Comments (0)
July 10, 2007
baby steps
I went to the gym both yesterday morning and today. Yesterday I had to push myself, but today it was easy; I got up as soon as Mike did, put on my gym clothes before I took the puppies out, and was out the door heading for the gym right after he left for work. I only had time for 20 minutes today, but I'm going to adjust my morning a little bit tomorrow and see if that will give me the extra 10 minutes I need to get in 30 minutes of cardio. I didn't do a good job of getting things ready last night, and I think that's part of why I didn't have as much time to spend at the gym. Twice while I was looking for things I had to stop and force myself to slow down. Both times it paid off - instead of wasting more time flurrying around trying to find the lid to Mike's coffee mug or my shoes, I stopped, took a breath and collected myself, then was able to look around calmly and find what I was looking for instead of continuing to overlook it because I was in a rush.
Posted by oracle at 9:50 AM | Comments (0)
May 21, 2007
if it drips down the back of my throat, it can't be good
In my ongoing efforts to adjust to life without my favorite allergy medicine, I decided this morning was a good time to start using the nasal spray sample my allergist had given me, and, holy hell, was that an unpleasant experience, for a couple of different reasons. Reason 1: I do not like anything going up my nose, but I ESPECIALLY don't like anything liquid going up my nose. Ugh. Reason 2: I am not very coordinated sometimes, so the simultaneous squirting of the nose spray while holding one nostril shut and sniffing in with the other is not something that I can execute smoothly straight out of the gate. Hell, it took me a bit to get using my inhaler down, and that just involves breathing in. Reason 3: The way it feels as the spray sloooowly makes its way out of my sinuses and down the back of my throat. Ick. Reason 4: The taste of the spray as it slowly makes its way out of my sinuses and down the back of my throat. Can I get it in a different flavor? Blue raspberry would be nice, but I'd even settle for that awful fake cherry flavoring. Seriously, this stuff tastes AWFUL. I used it before I brushed my teeth and I could still taste it, even after my tastebuds were numbed thanks to the mouthful of Listerine I had.
I want to breathe, I want to be healthy, and I want to feel good again, but I'm not terribly enthused about the idea of this damn nose spray being a regular part of my life either.
Posted by oracle at 5:08 PM | Comments (0)
May 4, 2007
every time I look around
I'm still not a fan of that song, but it was what was playing on the radio this morning on my way to the gym. (Yes, I live less than two miles away from my gym - possibly more like one - and I still drive there. It is less of a lazy thing than it is a paranoia one: 4am + me + our not-as-well-lit-as-I'd-like subdivision = a very jittery Kate.)
So the neurologist appointment was both a trial and a tribble-ation (hello, nerd roots). Yesterday was not a good day to leave work early because of last-minute preparations for a super-big meeting today, but since I'd had the appointment for several weeks, there was no way I was going to cancel. The last-minute meeting prep kept me there a good 30 minutes later than I'd planned, and that meant I was cutting things awfully close for my appointment (mistake #1). As I mentioned yesterday, I had paperwork to fill out that I put off until the last damn minute, which was ridiculous seeing as how I'd had over a damn MONTH to fill in the various blanks (mistake #2). I pulled into the parking lot with 5 minutes to spare, so I quickly filled in the blanks I hadn't had time to complete at work, then started to walk inside until I noticed that the door said "gynecology" instead of "neurology." Apparently I didn't look close enough at the signage when I parked (mistake #4). Or read the address (mistake #5). A more detailed survey of the area made it quite clear that I was not in the right area, so I got directions from one of the receptionists in the gynecologists office (mistake #6), who told me that the neurologist was in another building. I got back in my car, drove to that building, found one of the last parking spots in the entire lot, and scampered into the building. But when I was reading the sign in the lobby, I couldn't see the right doctor's name on there anywhere. At that point I called the doctor's office like I should've in the very beginning. I got better directions, explained the situation (v. embarrassing, btw. I worked in a doctor's office, for Pete's sake; I should know better!), and got to the right place just a few minutes after I was supposed to have been there. I parked in front of the wrong building, but at that point, I didn't care. The receptionist was very patient with me, and the doctor didn't even realize I was a few minutes late, but it was still not how I prefer to kick off an appointment with a new doctor.
It is very difficult to fill out a sheet detailing things about your headaches when you get two very different types of headaches with a few symptoms that overlap. The doctor was nice and paid close attention while I was talking about the various symptoms of the headaches, then he started asking a variety of questions to try to figure out what some of my triggers are, for both the migraines and the other headaches. One of the ingredients in one of my allergy prescriptions is more than likely responsible for some, if not all, the other headaches, and he recommended I keep a log to track some of the various triggers for my migraines. Hormones also appear to play a part in my migraines, but I don't have to look at eliminating the birth control pills until after we've tried everything else with no results. He also mentioned the possibility that I could have fibromyalgia and commented that my TMJ problems could be a trigger as well. My MRI was fine though, so at least I know none of this is thanks to a brain tumor.
For the next six weeks I need to write down pretty much everything I do and note when I get headaches and what kind they are so we can figure out what's setting them off. After that, he suggested that we try tweaking things to eliminate as many of my triggers as possible (chocolate, if you turn out to be bad for me, I will be devastated), and if none of that works, then we'll start looking at preventative medicines. Before I left, he also recommended a book to help me figure some of this stuff out. I'm nervous about trying to determine my triggers on my own over the next few weeks (what if I miss something?), but I like that giving me more prescriptions wasn't his first suggestion. I'd rather make small lifestyle changes first and then look at other options if those aren't working.
Posted by oracle at 5:00 AM | Comments (0)
March 20, 2007
week 4 - day 2
I only had the time (and energy) for 31.10 minutes / 2.6 miles and sit-ups this morning.
Posted by oracle at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)
March 19, 2007
week 4 - day 1
31.10 minutes, 3.10 miles. I also did sit-ups, leg extensions, and used the leg press.
Posted by oracle at 5:46 AM | Comments (0)
March 14, 2007
week 3 - day 3
30 minutes / 2.61 miles, and, like yesterday, I'm feeling fantastic this morning. I went to bed a bit late, but since I'm getting into the habit of getting right up when the alarm goes off, there's not really time to talk myself out of going to the gym or to focus on feeling tired. I really like our new routine.
Posted by oracle at 5:30 AM | Comments (0)
March 12, 2007
week 3 - day 1
41.11 minutes / 4.06 miles, and it's a good thing I did that earlier this morning, because now I've got a migraine. All of my energy is going into not erping on the keyboard. Bleh.
Posted by oracle at 7:36 AM | Comments (0)
March 9, 2007
week 2 - day 4
We went to bed a little later than normal last night, and even though I slept well, it would have been very easy to stay in bed snuggled up against Mike and play hooky from the gym and work. I don't do well with afternoon workouts though, so I pushed myself to at least go in for a little bit and did 16.03 minutes / 1.55 miles today. It's certainly not the 30 minutes I wanted to keep as my daily minimum, but I am happy that I at least went in and did something.
Posted by oracle at 6:45 AM | Comments (0)
March 8, 2007
week 2 - day 3
Mike and I still made it to the gym this morning, even though we were both dragging.
30.05 minutes / 2.69 miles.
Posted by oracle at 8:51 AM | Comments (0)
March 7, 2007
healthier food choices
I think it undermines my workout efforts if I keep giving my body crap to work with, so when Mike and I started going back to the gym, I decided that it's time for me to start making healthier eating choices as well. Part of that decision is a commitment to bringing real food with me to work instead of relying on microwave popcorn (Pop Secret's 100-calorie snack bags - I love them, but they're not the same as fruits, vegetables, etc.) to get me through the day. I bought this awesome lunch jar in September, but it sat in one of the cabinets in our kitchen until I pulled it out last Tuesday to use it for the first time. This is only the second week of the healthier eating, so I'm sure I'll be changing things up somewhat as time progresses, but the following is what I'm currently doing:
At the beginning of the week I fix a small container of soy milk to keep in the fridge at work so I can have milk with my oatmeal without having to dragging an extra container back and forth every day, and each morning I make a serving of oatmeal and put it in the largest container. There's an insulated container that can safely hold soup or other liquids, but because of its size I use it to hold a snack mix I make out of whole wheat Chex, Nature's Path Pumpkin FlaxPlus Granola cereal, and whatever else I feel like throwing in (last week I added honey-wheat pretzels, this week it's pistachios). I use another container for a bagel, and the smallest container is for whatever else I may need that day. Today it's got chunky peanut butter to go on the apples I brought in, yesterday I used it to hold scrambled egg whites, and last week it held leftover cherry cheesecake. I've also been bringing in fruit (this week is bananas, apples, and nectarines), a FruitaBü, and a bag of Quaker "mini delights."
Posted by oracle at 9:40 AM | Comments (0)
week 2 - day 2
Mike went with me to the gym this morning, which was a nice change. My iPod shuffled out some good songs from my workout mix so I did 32.11 minutes/3.09 miles before we left, and I feel much better today than I did yesterday. It was easier for me to keep going for the 30 minutes, and I'm more energized post-workout too.
Posted by oracle at 7:52 AM | Comments (0)
March 6, 2007
week 2 - day 1
My original plan was to take it easy and just do 20 minutes on the elliptical today since I was dragging. However, when I got to the gym I decided I'd rather make 30 minutes my daily minimum, so I put in 30 minutes/2.56 miles before calling it quits. Mike is probably working late today, so I doubt I'll be going in this afternoon to lift weights as I had initially planned.
Posted by oracle at 6:51 AM | Comments (0)
March 5, 2007
in which our heroine takes two days off from the gym
Yesterday the kids' mom called to say she was sick and ask if we could keep the kids another night, so I didn't get a workout in this morning. I didn't go to the gym yesterday either, but I plan to pick back up tomorrow morning. I definitely feel better after I've gone, even if I'm not initially enthused about going. I went to the gym Monday-Saturday last week, and my goal is to go tomorrow-Sunday next week, then pick back up again the following Monday. I'll probably take a day off on the weekends, but ideally I'll be doing cardio every day. This week I'm going in with Mike in the afternoon on Tuesday and Thursday to lift weights while he's doing his workout.
Posted by oracle at 8:24 AM | Comments (2)
March 1, 2007
in which our heroine is exhausted but exhilarated
I was up until 11 last night making a cherry cheesecake for my sister's birthday, and I wasn't too thrilled when the alarm clock went off this morning. I was tempted to just go back to bed after Mike left for work, but I pushed myself and went to the gym. I put in 40 minutes/3.15 miles and felt great afterwards. I was even disappointed because I had to leave when I did. This week has really confirmed that I love going to the gym first thing in the morning. I have more energy throughout the day, and I'm noticing that my mood is better overall.
Posted by oracle at 6:29 AM | Comments (0)
February 28, 2007
three days in a row
I've been to the gym three days in a row, and this morning's workout was even better than yesterday's. I did a tad over 30 minutes/2.75 miles and didn't even notice the first 1.5 miles thanks to the workout mix I made. It's still a work in progress, but at least now I have something to listen to while I run in my hamster wheel.
Posted by oracle at 7:36 AM | Comments (0)
February 27, 2007
in which our heroine gets her ass to the gym. finally
The gym opened while I was on my deathbed last week, so Mike and I went after work yesterday, and I was miserable for the entire 21 minutes I was on the elliptical trainer. Three years ago I was working out in the evenings after work, and I was fine with it. Now a mid-afternoon workout kicks my ass. I think it's because I'm getting up earlier now and I'm more tired in the afternoons than I used to be. Whatever the reason, I'm much better off working out in the mornings. If yesterday is any indicator, working out in the afternoon leaves me grouchy and snarly, whereas working out in the mornings leaves me energized. With that in mind, I went to the gym before I left for work this morning, and it felt great. I did 2.25 miles on the treadmill, put air in my tire at the gas station across the street, and went home to eat breakfast and shower. The puppies were confused by the change in our former routine, but I think they'll get used to it soon. The new gym is awesome, by the way. They're still putting a lot of the equipment together, but when it's all in place, it's going to be great.
Posted by oracle at 6:34 AM | Comments (0)
February 23, 2007
same old song
Still dying, still thirsty and hungry. I'd planned on going in to work today but that got taken off the table around 3 this morning when I woke up with just enough time to get to the bathroom. I was able to get in to see the doctor this morning, and he confirmed that yes, it is a virus, and yes, it is indeed evil. The only thing he could do for me at this point was give me a list of things that shouldn't (ha!) upset my stomach and a prescription for a new anti-nausea/vomiting medicine. I took one of those pills over an hour ago, and while I don't feel all shiny and good as new, I haven't thrown it up yet either, so I'm taking that as a good sign. My backup plan is that all my prayers for death will finally be answered, because this shit sucks.
Posted by oracle at 3:07 PM | Comments (0)
February 21, 2007
Peruvian Death Flu
I am dying. Slowly, from lack of any kind of fluids in my body. Any attempt I make to rehydrate myself is violently rejected. I am also miserable. And whiny, because I do not suffer quietly.
The gym did not, in fact, open on Monday because they did not pass an inspection of some sort. To say that I am disappointed is a gross understatement, even though it's not like I'd be in there working out right now if it were open. Fucking death flu.
A tri-level house is quite a liability when you can barely get yourself from the bed to the bathroom and back, even more so when your bedroom is on the uppermost level, your doors to the outside world are on the first, and you have puppies that need to go out, sometimes more than once a day. I am not at my best when crawling up and down the stairs.
Mike's sick too, and he had a must-attend meeting at work today, poor guy. He made a special stop on his way home to bring me Gatorade, and is therefore more my hero than ever before.
I haven't felt this bad since my trip to the ER last year. I've actually found myself longing for an IV far more than I'm happy about over the past few days. Ugh.
Posted by oracle at 7:05 PM | Comments (0)
February 16, 2007
they're nothing if not prompt
My doctor's office called yesterday to give me the results of my MRI. My brain is fine, my sinuses are clear, and I need to see a neurologist if the headache continues, which it is. While I'm glad they didn't find anything like a tumor, I'm a little disappointed that there isn't an obvious fix to this, something with a long unpronounceable name that will be cured with a one-week course of antibiotics and green tea. It has been suggested that perhaps stress is the cause of the headache, and if that's the case, it'll be a bit more tricky to treat than my mystery green tea disease. It might even require phone calls to a few people informing them that they'll need to stop with the x, y, and z immediately, please, because it is causing me stress and giving me headaches, and, possibly, making Father Christmas weep. Ha. This is one more reason I am excited about the new gym opening on Monday.
Posted by oracle at 1:15 PM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2007
more about piercings and my MRI - now with more snow
I did not, in fact, get to keep my belly button ring in for the MRI. This is the first time in five years that I've had all my piercings out at the same time, and it feels weird. I've taken my eyebrow ring out a couple of times before, and I don't really notice that unless I'm rubbing my eye or something and remember it's gone. Same with the belly button ring. It's the nipple rings that are taking the most adjustment. Maybe it's because they're the most recent piercing (I got them done two and a half years ago, the eyebrow ring three and a half years ago, and I've had the belly button ring forever. Or 6 years. Close enough.), maybe it's because they're in a more sensitive area, I don't know.
The MRI was not nearly as nerve-wracking as I thought it would be, but it is much harder to keep your eyes still than I would have imagined. The only hitch was when I was changing into the gown they gave me and couldn't figure out if it was supposed to tie in the front or the back. I settled for the back, and since no one stopped me and told me to go back and switch it around, I can only assume that I chose wisely. Luckily I was not wearing a thong. The MRI room was chilly, but they gave me a blanket so I was pretty comfortable for the 45 minutes it took to do the actual MRI. Well, I was comfortable until my ear started itching, at which point I started wondering if it was because a bug was crawling into it, then my imagination went into overdrive trying to figure out what kind of bug it could be and exactly how would one have a bug removed from their ear.
Last night when I checked the status for my building, it was scheduled to open late at 10, and when I checked it again before I left for my appointment that had been changed to noon. With that in mind I went straight to work after my MRI, only to find out that they'd closed the building for the day. I like snow days a lot better if I know about them BEFORE I get to work.
Posted by oracle at 1:14 PM | Comments (0)
February 13, 2007
in which our heroine rambles about piercings, MRIs, and short work days
Thanks to the weather I got to leave early today and I don't have to go in tomorrow until 9, although I'm not going to be there long because I have to leave at 10 for an MRI. I'm a little nervous about the MRI. My only other MRI experience was when I was in the ER last year (I can't believe I didn't write about that here), and I had just been introduced to morphine at the time, so I'm not terribly clear about the whole procedure. I do remember that I got to keep my eyebrow ring and nipple rings in for that one, but I had to take the belly button ring out because they were checking to see what was going on with my stomach. Since tomorrow's MRI is for my never-ending headache, the nipple rings and eyebrow ring have to come out, but the belly button ring can stay in. Too bad that's the easiest to take out and put back in. Although, I don't know that for a fact; I haven't taken the nipple rings out since I first got them pierced. I'll find out tomorrow, I suppose.
Edit: As it turns out, I had a cat scan in the hospital, not an MRI, so now I'm even more nervous about tomorrow.
Posted by oracle at 7:32 PM | Comments (0)
July 6, 2004
horror stories = pre-procedure trauma
I really am falling apart. Last Thursday I noticed a stabbing pain in my right breast. It got worse Friday and Saturday, so I made an appointment to get it checked out. I just got back from the doctor's office and she thinks it's just a cyst, but I still need to get it checked out just to make sure. Checking out in this case means getting a mammogram and an ultrasound, two new experiences for me. Needless to say, I'm not particularly excited. As it has been well documented in previous entries, I'm a wuss. As such, I'm not so much worried about the results as I'm worried about the procedures themselves. I've heard all sorts of mammogram horror stories, and I don't mind telling you, it doesn't sound like a bed of roses, so, in true wuss fashion, I'll be taking my human Paxil with me, poor guy.
Speaking of the human Paxil, Mike is so sweet. He went with me to the doctor appointment and didn't just sit in a corner, he asked questions and reminded me about some details I'd forgotten, then held my hand when they drew blood. This time I didn't leave any nail marks gouged into his skin though, so I guess I'm making progress. Yay me. Another yay from this visit - the nurse gave me a Snoopy band-aid after it was all over.
Posted by oracle at 5:04 PM | Comments (0)