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August 1, 2007
parenting 101 - week one
I had a migraine yesterday afternoon and evening, so when I left for the class I took a Relpax, hoping that would help things enough that I would be able to focus on what the instructor was saying. That was the second Relpax I'd taken yesterday, and it seems that I can handle taking one without getting drowsy, but taking two in one day makes me very, very sleepy. I felt guilty for the first hour of the class because my eyes kept losing focus and my head kept dropping. I never actually fell asleep, but I sure wanted to. And I was sitting on the front row, so it's not like it wasn't obvious. Thankfully the instructor is a fellow migraine sufferer (she gets rebound headaches too), and was very understanding when I explained the situation during the break. I got some water, put on some of my minty lip gloss (the minty smell and tingly feeling usually seem to wake me up a bit), and the second half of the class went much better for me.
This class is a good starting point for me. It's called Active Parenting of Teens, and that's the age group it is primarily geared towards, but I think the ideas and techniques I'm learning will apply to my interaction with non-teenagers as well. Since this was the first class, the instructor gave us an overview of the course - letting us know the topics we'll be going into more depth over the coming weeks - and covered what the goals of the course are. She did elaborate on some points, emphasizing that in order for a parent and a child to have a good relationship, the parent needs to respect the child (their opinions, feelings, thoughts, ideas, etc.) while helping them learn how to make responsible decisions instead of just dictating what's going to happen when. (That's going to be hard for me because I definitely fall into the "dictator" category of parenting styles. It's easier for me to just determine what, when, and why than it is to work with the kids, letting them flex their decision making skills and have more involvement in things.) She also pointed out the difference between discipline and punishment, which is important for me to keep in mind. Another point she emphasized is that people behave in certain ways to get something, and if that behavior no longer results in them getting whatever it is they're looking for (the "payoff"), they stop it and find another way to get the payoff. Power struggles were one of the other areas she touched on in more depth, comparing them to a merry-go-round: you get on and go around and around and around, but you don't get anywhere. A lot of what she talked about hit home, and I think I'm going to be able to learn a lot over the next six weeks. I'm really looking forward to next week's class.
Posted by tayker at August 1, 2007 9:16 AM in learning / the fourth year